If you drive a BMW, I'm not sorry.

"JGrabowMSt" (jgrabowmst)
12/12/2013 at 23:16 • Filed to: None

So I was leaving work today, and traffic is always fairly heavy where I work, so I have to wait quite some time to make the left turn out of the parking lot (or risk an accident).

Today, a BMW decided to pull into the parking lot behind me and park his car (I work in a strip mall with a Chinese take out place). The thing about this parking lot is that there is a SINGLE HANDICAPPED PARKING SPOT. This needs to be emphasized with ALL CAPS. A SINGLE HANDICAPPED PARKING SPOT.

What does the BMW driver do? He parks in it. Now, I waited a couple seconds (not like I can just go anyway) to see if he puts up a tag. If he did, then fine, not my business why he has it, but at least he has it. Well, he didn't. So I throw the car into neutral and roll back a few feet and roll down my window...I was so absolutely pissed off* that I yelled at him for parking in the handicapped spot. He then looked at me, shocked that someone called him out, and was like "I didn't know it was a handicapped spot." So I then tell him to look right in front of his car, where the sign is, and has been for many years. He turned back to me and said nothing. He just stared at me.

What a fucking asshat. Suits him right to drive a fucking BMW, because BMW drivers are pricks. I know many people who own BMWs. I can say with absolute certainty that only one of them is not an asshat like that. He's a genuinely great guy who has an awesome job and cars and life. If you own a BMW and you'd never do this, congratulations. I'm not sorry. I know that you are probably not all like this example of a BMW driver, but there simply are not enough of you in the world. Don't bother firing insults back, go out and help teach fellow beemer drivers how to be nice human beings.

I didn't get the beemer model, nor do I care for them, so here's a picture of what I hope happens to his. Very very soon.

*This pisses me off to no end, because if I were to bother applying for a handicapped plate/hang tag, I likely would get it. It's not anyone's business for why, that's between me and my family and doctor. I choose not to get one because there are plenty of other people that need it much more than I do.

DISCUSSION (72)

Lets Just Drive > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:18

I just wanna know, what if he'd been in a Chevy Cobalt?

JGrabowMSt > Lets Just Drive
12/12/2013 at 23:21

I yell at anyone for parking in that handicapped spot without a tag or plate for it. The sad part is that I even have a reason to do so.

This wasn't the first time I yelled at someone for parking there, it was just infinitely worse because it was a BMW.

Manuél Ferrari > Lets Just Drive
12/12/2013 at 23:22

Yeah how is the car really relevant? Anyone in any car could do this.

I have two bimmers. I have never, ever, parked in a handicap spot. I've also never taken up two parking spaces to avoid my car being dented.

Lets Just Drive > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:23

Not that I disagree, but now make the BMW a black person.

What kind of racist asshole rides a black person to pick up Chinese food? Don't they know that black people can't use chopsticks?!

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:23

So I was leaving work today, and traffic is always fairly heavy where I work, so I have to wait quite some time to make the left turn out of the parking lot (or risk an accident).

Today, a CAR decided to pull into the parking lot behind me and park his car (I work in a strip mall with a Chinese take out place). The thing about this parking lot is that there is a SINGLE HANDICAPPED PARKING SPOT. This needs to be emphasized with ALL CAPS. A SINGLE HANDICAPPED PARKING SPOT.

What does the CAR driver do? He parks in it. Now, I waited a couple seconds (not like I can just go anyway) to see if he puts up a tag. If he did, then fine, not my business why he has it, but at least he has it. Well, he didn't. So I throw the car into neutral and roll back a few feet and roll down my window...I was so absolutely pissed off* that I yelled at him for parking in the handicapped spot. He then looked at me, shocked that someone called him out, and was like "I didn't know it was a handicapped spot." So I then tell him to look right in front of his car, where the sign is, and has been for many years. He turned back to me and said nothing. He just stared at me.

What a fucking asshat. Suits him right to drive a fucking CAR , because CAR drivers are pricks. I know many people who own CAR's. I can say with absolute certainty that only one of them is not an asshat like that. He's a genuinely great guy who has an awesome job and cars and life. If you own a CAR and you'd never do this, congratulations. I'm not sorry. I know that you are probably not all like this example of a CAR driver, but there simply are not enough of you in the world. Don't bother firing insults back, go out and help teach fellow CAR drivers how to be nice human beings.

I didn't get the CAR model, nor do I care for them, so here's a picture of what I hope happens to his. Very very soon.

Lets Just Drive > Manuél Ferrari
12/12/2013 at 23:24

Where as I have zero Bimmers and always park across as many Handicapped stalls as possible.

Note: I'm a disabled Amish man.

HA!

DasWauto > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:25

Your hatred for BMW motorcycles seems irrational.

offroadkarter > Lets Just Drive
12/12/2013 at 23:25

Instead of saying "hey asshole!"

The OP would have said "Hey you poor piece of shit!"

Aaron James > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:26

I love blanket stereotyping, It's so healthy and look how far it's come in helping everyone get along.

getchapopcorn > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:26

That's a lot of hate, bro. Calm it down a bit. My neighbor has a 507 and a z8 (I think we can all agree those are about the douchiest/cockiest bimmers you can own) and he's a wonderful person. Can we all just stop the BWM bashing?

6cyl > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:39

Beemers are motorcycles and bimmers are cars

Kinja'd!!!

Sorry I couldn't help myself and yes I realize they are somewhat interchangable

JGrabowMSt > Aaron James
12/12/2013 at 23:41

Everyone has to vent once in a while...I'm sure everyone else in the world is perfectly politically correct when they do as well.

At least it's healthy to vent...

shpuker > getchapopcorn
12/12/2013 at 23:42

Not true, if anything they tend to be owned by the coolest BMW drivers out there. (worked at a BMW dealer for a good while). It's almost always the ones driving the leased 328's and 335's that tend to be the most passively awful people (read self-centered shits) and the brand new M drivers tend to be either the biggest douche bags you'll ever find or the most genuinely cool people you'll meet. Theres typically not much in between.

RotaryLover > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:42

Reminds me of my story.

http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/jesus-i-just-s…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

getchapopcorn > shpuker
12/12/2013 at 23:43

I meant the cars in and of themselves, not the persons driving them.

Aaron James > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:45

Yeah, but honestly didn't you expect at least a little push-back. I wasn't overly harsh.

philipilihp > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:45

Whoa whoa whoa, such hatred!

Are BMW drivers really statistically worse than, say, Nissan drivers? I hope you had a nice relaxing drink when you got home, because you sound like you needed it.

shpuker > getchapopcorn
12/12/2013 at 23:48

Ah, I had assumed you meant drivers wise. I can agree on that side of the point then. They are a bit douchey, probably why I like them so much.

E30Joe drives a Subaru > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:49

I drive BMW's, does that make me a prick?

webmonkees > JGrabowMSt
12/12/2013 at 23:52

Kinja'd!!!

To accommodate this behaviour, some places provide their own special roads. The fun begins when the light turns red.

SpeedSix > getchapopcorn
12/12/2013 at 23:54

507 owners can't be douchebags. Douches only drive crappy low-end BMWs since they want to look rich and fashionable, but fall/fail hard . And damn, 507?!?!?!!

Manuél Ferrari > shpuker
12/12/2013 at 23:56

i have bought two M cars before. both used. hopefully that makes me less of a douche, haha

oh and sorry gronk got hurt. at least the broncos lost last night. you gotta be happy about that

Manuél Ferrari > E30Joe drives a Subaru
12/12/2013 at 23:57

i'm a prick and a douche!

Manuél Ferrari > philipilihp
12/12/2013 at 23:58

and don't forget audi is the new bmw!

Manuél Ferrari > RotaryLover
12/13/2013 at 00:00

i am disappoint :(

JGrabowMSt > Aaron James
12/13/2013 at 00:00

I posted this to vent, not to troll around stirring the pot. I was well aware there are plenty of people who would lose their shit over it, and that's okay. It just happened to be a stereotype. Had it been a different car brand, the rant would have been worded differently.

I do want to say that ranting about a specific car stereotype to me is completely different than being racist. This is a car website. My father is pretty racist, and I feel offended that someone would try to cross that line. Do I think anyone was overly harsh? No. No more than I was and that's fair.

E30Joe drives a Subaru > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 00:01

High five!

shpuker > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 00:02

Hahah Naw man I'm from Denver! Broncos had a pretty off game though.

JGrabowMSt > offroadkarter
12/13/2013 at 00:04

There was no name calling in my interaction with the individual in question. The car isn't relevant to this, it's just part of my rant, which I'm allowed. As I said, I'm sure there are plenty of BMW drivers who aren't like this individuals, but that was my experience today. It wasn't life changing, just frustrating. I'm sure when you're all frustrated, you're at your best behavior too.

Manuél Ferrari > E30Joe drives a Subaru
12/13/2013 at 00:05

M3 granny wants to high five too!

Kinja'd!!!

Aaron James > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 00:06

The new Cool thing that the media and politicians are pushing on the masses is Class warfare, rich vs. poor. If you are successful, you are the bad guy. That's how I took it more so than comparing it to a race issue like others did. I have no issue with you at all, it's more about me being in a horrific mood these last couple days than anything else.

E30Joe drives a Subaru > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 00:07

I bet she would like to go on a BMW cruise with me and my new Bimmer!

Kinja'd!!!

Aaron James > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 00:09

Actually now that I think about it, it's because I'm in a bad mood and probably have been a douche for a few days that this struck me the wrong way since you are wishing death or destruction on douches, and I might meet the criteria for a few days and I don't want to die or have my car destroyed.

Manuél Ferrari > shpuker
12/13/2013 at 00:09

Oh I thought you were a NE fan because you got pissed when NE lost the game when the pass interference wasn't called at the end.

I know a guy that was at the Denver game with his son today. They're probably still trying to get out of the parking lot

offroadkarter > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 00:10

....

Kinja'd!!!

Manuél Ferrari > E30Joe drives a Subaru
12/13/2013 at 00:11

that is awesome!

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > E30Joe drives a Subaru
12/13/2013 at 00:15

I drive a BMW, and plan on buying another new one soon. Then I will own two. That must make me a gigantic pile of shit. I also have driven quite a few BMWs. Holy shit. I must leak douche fluid everywhere I go!

JGrabowMSt > Aaron James
12/13/2013 at 00:16

Success is a funny thing. It would be nice that with success and riches, a lot of the people did not lose their humility. When the day comes, great. Until then, I don't care if the guy is months behind on his lease, or if he paid for the car up front. He pulled a dick move, and was shocked that someone called him out on it. Spectacular.

This week I've had three finals, and I have three more next week. I can understand people being in a horrific mood. I work plenty more hours than part time and have to juggle school in the mix. There are plenty of people in the same position that know it. If they handle the stress better, I'm very happy for them. I wont get to relax for another week, but then it's back to working full time until my last semester starts. If I really wanted to vent about life, it likely wouldn't happen here. No offense, but while I feel perfectly comfortable here, I don't know anyone well enough to get into it. That said, a vehicle related event that I feel the need to rant about? Sure!

It is really any different than when people beat the kinja'd horse?

Manuél Ferrari > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 00:16

In my opinion it has nothing to do with the cars. If Porsches were cheaper then the common asshole would be driving a Porsche. If Ferraris were cheaper then it would be Ferraris. If a new C7 Z51 started at $25,o00 then the majority of the owners would be total asshats.

The problem is that MOST PEOPLE SUCK. Bimmers are popular cars. There are a lot of shitty people so therefore a lot of them drive bimmers. I bet a lot of them also have Samsung TVs. But we don't associate Samsung TVs with being an asshat because you don't see the TV when you're out and about.

Aaron James > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 00:24

Well anyway, I hope your finals go well for you and you have a nice Christmas, It certainly wasn't an egregious enough post to demand this level of back and forth on. I appreciate the civility of it but none the less, let's move on.

Dr.d > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 00:46

Good point. I agree with you that they are easily attainable to the common asshat, thus we have a high preponderance of asshats driving them. But I have a theory that it also has something to do with the perceived status factor:

BMW's are a relatively expensive car that carry some level of status since only people who are doing better than most financially can justify spending the extra money on them. This makes people driving them feel more superior than most people out and about. They feel like (a.) they are either entitled to act like total asshats since they're so awesome, or (b.) that nobody will fuck with them since most normal people wouldn't dare question someone of higher status. So we have a phenomenon i call, "luxury car asshat syndrome" or "LCAS".

Manuél Ferrari > Dr.d
12/13/2013 at 01:02

I agree with that. BMWs are the cheapest and most desirable cars that give people LCAS.

Just imagine how many asshats will be driving Porsche Macans soon. They MSRP in the 40s. Soon asshats everywhere will be taking up multiple parking spaces with their Macans and tailgating lower cars on the highway.

It's a "Porch-uh" > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 01:24

In the immortal words of Patrick George:

Fuck off. Merry Christmas.

shpuker > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 01:35

Naw just don't like seeing games decided like that!

I don't doubt that for a second though. The lots get real tricky to get out of.

TillTheWheelsFallOff: Brocoma > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 01:39

I don't understand why some of you BMW folks are getting so mad at this guy. We get angry, we make generalizations, it's a fact of life. You and I both do it. Don't take it personally.

And if you do, let me assure you you're not alone just cause you drive a BMW:

I drive a Mustang and lifted truck. How much shit do you think gets dished at me? Quite a bit. Do I care? Not really.

Why?

If you're not the stereotype, don't react to it.

Manuél Ferrari > shpuker
12/13/2013 at 01:48

oh got it! there has been some even crazier stuff since then. maybe the refs are bought out by the russian mob like european football :P

i went to my first NFL game this year in denver. was there for opening night. don't remember how long it took to leave because i was too drunk!

E30Joe drives a Subaru > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment
12/13/2013 at 02:02

Driven quite a few? I work at a BMW dealership, I drove at least 100 BMW's today. I'm such an asshole that my actual asshole got jealous.

Stef Schrader > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 02:04

Hate the sin (...of the driver), not the car.

That poor innocent BMW. Please, let me save you from bad decisions and do some smoky doughnuts.

911e46z06 > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 04:42

I have 2 BMWs, a Corvette, a 911, a 3/4 ton truck, and a lifted Tahoe. I AM KING OF ALL THE DOUCHES.

Manuél Ferrari > 911e46z06
12/13/2013 at 04:50

I need to get a Corvette, pickup and lifted Tahoe. Then I can be co-king with you!

911e46z06 > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 04:51

Venting is healthy. Transferring your hatred for one dude to every person (or even a majority of people) who drive a certain type of car is just kind of crazy.

Chill out dude. Some people are assholes. Nothing you can do about it. Have a beer and take satisfaction in knowing he's an asshole, nobody likes him, and he will never have a meaningful and fulfilling relationship and will therefore die alone.

Manuél Ferrari > 911e46z06
12/13/2013 at 04:52

I guess co-king doesn't work. Where do you live? I can be king douche of California, haha

Isn't it funny how this is a car site but people get labeled for having cars they love? Labeling people for their cars is something I'd expect from Gawker...

911e46z06 > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 05:05

Sorry bud, I'm in San Diego. There can be only one.

But yeah, that's pretty wack. It's mostly those fucking Miata drivers. Those guys are all dicks.

JGrabowMSt > Stef Schrader
12/13/2013 at 07:55

Poor decisions would be to physically retaliate in some way. Thats something I would never do. Much better to verbally vent than go off and slash tires, follow the guy home, whatever. The point is, it pissed me off, and I got it out in a non destructive way that does no one harm, yet heres many people discouraging that. I dont hate BMWs completely over it, there are a couple pretty nice ones that are quite nice to look at. This guy just struck a nerve pretty hard. If the most harmful thing I did was go on the internet and say he was a prick, I have to say, it was a five alarm fire for self-righteousness. As someone said before, if you arent the stereotype, then dont be offended.

Sinanigans > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 08:11

My dad is a doctor, and a great guy all-around- generous, compassionate, nice guy. When he started buying BMW's, he became a total douche behind the wheel. And most of the people who tailgate, cut him off, and drive uber aggressively are... other BMW drivers. Hate to say it, but BMW drivers are awful people behind the wheel. They're probably nice and well-meaning people in real life- but not behind the wheel...

WolfmanJimCBW > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 08:41

I have to agree with you. Most BMW drivers are kind of asshatish. The number one offense I see is them parking in the handicap spot at stores or cutting people off. Also, I DD an E30. I definitely feel I am in the minority as I do not believe that driving a BMW means I am privileged to drive as I please.

Rico > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 09:33

I thought this was going to end with the guy got out and his car was towed while he was inside the store. I'm not disabled so I don't really care who parks there because I know I can't.

If anything I like to park FURTHER from other cars because people in parking lots generally are idiots and will hit your door with theirs getting out of their shit-mobile.

gabdere > JGrabowMSt
12/13/2013 at 10:58

Did you just said my mom was a prick?

Manuél Ferrari > 911e46z06
12/13/2013 at 12:10

haha then i could only be king of oc, if you were willing to just have sd as your kingdom. but king douche of oc sounds soooo douchetastic, i don't know if i'm up for it...

lol let's not generalize miata drivers. then we're doing the same thing!

i know 2 guys with miatas. one is the most awesome dude you'll ever meet. the other rides fixed gear bikes and is an anti social hipster. so funny how different then are

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > E30Joe drives a Subaru
12/13/2013 at 14:58

Holy fuck....you might be close to the singularity. Kind of like when a black hole collapses into itself, you might be at risk of collapsing into your own asshole and ceasing to exist, while simultaneously taking out all biomass in a 5 lightyear radius. I'm actually jealous. I wish I could star this comment 1oo times

911e46z06 > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 15:12

Yeah, that was the joke. Miata guys are awesome. Gotta admire people who will deal with the whole gay Miata driver stereotype and zero practicality just to drive a great car.

As douche king I hereby bequeath to you Orange County, douchiest of all douchedoms.

Manuél Ferrari > 911e46z06
12/13/2013 at 20:29

Oh haha. I was operating on little sleep and didn't get the joke.

I will take great care with my douchedom. I'll protect my people and ensure everyone acts like a douche every day of the week. Turn signals will be banned and anyone who parks properly will be tortured

911e46z06 > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 20:35

Excellent. You are hereby granted the privilege of wearing white sunglasses as an indication of your station.

Manuél Ferrari > 911e46z06
12/13/2013 at 20:38

I need to go buy some ASAP!

911e46z06 > Manuél Ferrari
12/13/2013 at 21:01

There should be some in the center console of your m3. They come standard.

Manuél Ferrari > 911e46z06
12/13/2013 at 22:43

Oh yeah I forgot! If you take the dash apart they are hidden in there

charski > JGrabowMSt
12/14/2013 at 02:38

Kinja'd!!!

I judge by the strength of their character, not by the brand of sheet metal they wear...jerks come in all shapes and sizes...

Axial > 911e46z06
12/14/2013 at 04:12

Missing Mustang and rice burner.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > 911e46z06
12/14/2013 at 07:19

You need a Hummer and an Aventador.

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Axial
12/14/2013 at 07:19

Mustangs? In Oppo? You probably mean Camaros.

911e46z06 > Goshen, formerly Darkcode
12/14/2013 at 14:48

I want an old Army surplus Hummer so bad. They're getting way too expensive though. The Lambo is just a bit out of my price range.

Axial > Goshen, formerly Darkcode
12/14/2013 at 15:12

Either one works; just going after "inexpensive American ponycar." True douches drive the V6 and try to race everybody like it's the V8.